Tag Archives: Galway

Have Yourself A Very Magical Pony Fever Christmas Milkshake

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Look, up there!

Is it a Bleeekerfrak?

Is it a Bicklewirst?

No!

It’s probably just a blog. 

Okay, there are several items that need to be made clear before this round gets right into the thick of nonsensical vomit. Let’s get this over with quickly people, we all have pies at home that need eating:

1) It is a known fact that everyone who judges the X Factor is actually made of a certain kind of cheese that was made by people with gramophones playing rusty Tuba Music strapped to their chests. Since this is a known fact, I won’t have to go into further detail. ( I could have just said it sucked. But I didn’t. I love you guys that much.)

2) I’m pretty sure this years Conan the Barbarian film was actually supposed to be about The Gruffalo. It is also no surprise that Jason Momoa’s acting was much better in EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of Stargate Atlantis than in this film. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up.

3) Nobody can stand the wait for The Avengers or The Hobbit. It’s like Joss Whedon and Peter Jackson have made a little bet about who can get people the most agitated. Personally, for the benefit of this blog, I have decided to resign myself to a quiet patience on the subject after watching a ‘behind the scenes’ video for the Hobbit and nearly imploding.

4) JINGLE BELLS CHRISTMAS TREE SILENT NIGHT DECK THE SLEIGH HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY. In other words, tinsel looks AWESOME on me, Christmas is the proverbial ‘bomb’ and Michael Caine is still the Best Mr Scrooge.

5) No matter how hard we try to uncover any real answers, no matter how much his obsessive fans may  yell at him through forums and websites. No matter how many angry polar bears you place around his house to lie in wait. We will NEVER know the REAL reason why Jon Bon Jovi is intentionally trying to ruin his career.

6) There is no sixth item, but aren’t even numbers just lovely? They’re the kind of numbers you’d have tea and cake with until you get bored and go paint balling with the odd numbers.

And Now For Our Feature Presentations:

Ladies and Gentlemen, Several Miracles of Science have occurred this week.

The First Miracle being that I am now Part-Direwolf. I know, I know, contain your jealousy, but the procedure was actually quite simple…How to be Part-Direwolf:

Step One: Purchase one fluffy hat equipped with dog ears.

Step Two: Wear fluffly hat.

Result:

  Image

This turned out bigger than I had hoped. Now I look like one of those American bloggers that post pictures of EVERY SINGLE occurring thing in their daily lives. The Bear person beside me is the man servant I pay to bring me tea every two hours (This is Boyfriend Country)

Why It Is So Awesome:

You get to be a Direwolf. I don’t really need to say much more.

The Teeny Tiny Downside:

I can only think of a couple. Pouncing on housemates when scavenging for food = Angry Housemates. Howling too loud when your boyfriend won’t make you a sandwich and your next door neighbours complaining about it.

The Second Miracle….wait. I think the second miracle just happened right now. Why is it snowing on my WordPress homepage? I’m already cold. Stop that. Ok, the ACTUAL Second Miracle is that I discovered something. Something incredible, something beautiful beyond compare. Something that is just below this very sentence: Image

Why It  Is So Awesome:

That’s right folks. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is one of the most amazing miracles in the universe. Why is that you ask? Because it is a cartoon for kids from after the year 2002 and it DOES NOT SUCK MONKEY.

I know I’m late to the station with this notion but it makes me feel so darn happy. A very good friend of mine, who is a human, heterosexual male (Technically speaking, he would be a BRONY. This has been explained to me as, a cross between a ‘bro’ and a ‘pony’ referring to people with testosterone who like this cartoon) he began talking about this cartoon a lot. As you probably have guessed, I like unicorns. I like them an awful lot. And I have probably wanted one/wanted to be one since I was around 4 or 5 because of things like My Little Pony. Therefore, I became intrigued, and eventually, obsessed.

The story is MAGICAL, the animation is SUPER CUTE, the six main characters are WONDERFUL and the whole thing just comes together in their hilarious, happy adventures with dragons and hydras and cake parties.

EVEN THE THEME SONG ROCKS:

This cartoon has restored my faith in animators. Speaking of which, the amazingly awesome Lauren Faust is the mind behind this Magical Pony Adventure. She is the same lady that brought you The Powerpuff Girls, and she is fantastic.

The Teeny Tiny Downside:

This show, like most, will stir up some ridiculous yet magically delicious debates in your head. For Example, my own discovery of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic was wonderful, but came at a very inappropriate time filled with essays and projects. Relating to the characters became a time consuming process for me. There were just so many options. I was tempted to hand up an essay debating whether or not my personal identity related more to Pinkie Pie or Rainbow Dash. I JUST CAN’T DECIDE. IT’S TOO DIFFICULT. THEY ARE BOTH SO AWESOME.

The Third Miracle is very Christmas orientated (I know you thought I dealt with that at the start, but bear with me) and this particular Miracle only happens 3 or 27 times a year in the month of December: My Reunion with Mulled Wine. 

Why It Is So Awesome:

One of the most warm and fuzzy things about Christmas that, for me, is a close second to seeing all of your family and friends. That stuff is like Christmas Crack for me. The best Mulled Wine I’ve had so far this month was at the Christmas Market in Galway. So, for all my little Galwegians, go get some if you’re in the city. Make sure you get a shot of Amaretto in it as well.

The Teeny Tiny Downside:

Too much Mulled Wine may cause sporadic side effects of teleportation to another realm, the ability to fly and an absolute beast of a hangover.

Since we love our gloomy old even numbers so much I’ll go right ahead and tell you about my Fourth Miracle which is this: SPACE MILKSHAKE!  

Why It Is So Awesome:

Contrary to what you might think, this is not a delicious Ice Cream drink with bits of the solar system in it with a side order of Jupiter. This is a film that is currently being made starring none other than Billy Boyd and Amanda Tapping. The teaser trailer doesn’t say much, but it appears to be a science fiction comedy. But I mean, come on, the title and the cast must get you a little bit excited right….RIGHT? It’s coming out sometime in 2012. I don’t know much else. But I know that it exists, and that Pippin and Samantha Carter are in it. So I am stoked.

The Teeny Tiny Downside:

GOD DAMN FILM MAKERS AND THEIR VOWS OF SECRECY. There’s not much information on the film right now. I could be getting all worked up about nothing. However, one thing is for sure. When there are more trailers and information…and there will be, my dear readers, no matter what the outcome may be… WHEN THERE IS MORE INFORMATION… I will go out and buy the biggest, most chocolatey cupcake. And then I will eat it.

The link below should be the trailer. It may or may not work. That’s another downside.

There were many other miracles that involved Ukeleles and Chocolate Violins but I would most assuredly bore you all with the minor details. For now, I must go alphabetize my siblings, make a unicorn costume and feed my baby Gruffalo.

Have a Magically Mulled Wine Christmas

Peas Out

(No seriously. The Peas need to get the fuck out.)